CHANGE. Gosh that can be a scary word! It requires you to do something different than what you have been used to doing for a while. The past few years, 5 years to be exact, have been about nothing but change. Its absolutely crazy how much change I have endured – challenges, heart ache, pain, courage, stepping out, holding back, holding on to the past, trying to adjust, the loss of what seemed like my inner soul – the loss of a mother. That is enough to change so much instantly. Your whole world feels like it crashes!
I am a believer in God and Jesus Christ. And through the years, I have been stripped down. Layer by layer, stripped down to the core. It took some time and I am sure, 100% sure, that God is not done with me yet. I had to realize who I was in Christ and get rid of all of that I thought I was. I have been holding out here, through this blog and business. Holding out on who I truly am. I wrote a note to myself in January and it hangs in my office that says, Don’t be afraid to truly be yourself. I have referenced that many times since then, but still manage to hold back.
The past few years, I have spent many nights crying out, falling to my knees, surrendering to God, only to go back into a circle of disobedience. Why? Because of distraction. Because of fear. Because of being scared of how I may be interpreted. The enemy knows that there is value to who I am, so he sets out to devalue me. That little voice that whispers in our ear telling us a bunch of lies over and over. The voice that fills us with doubt and we start to believe that small voice over the truth of what God says.
Now, I must say I am one that is extremely optimistic and full of positive hope. But there was a grey area some where. An area that he could creep into where I wasn’t fully believing. The area of forced change that required things to be shaken. The area where my dreams would scare me so much, that I would just put enough out there, but not all of who I am out there. I have always seemed to walk to the edge of the cliff, high on hope and making things happen, but I have realized that I never fully jump. And I feel God so strong right now telling me its time. Time to jump. Time to fully trust Him.
Being gifted with a gift of encouragement has left me with a love for inspiring and motivating others. But most of all encouraging others. I, myself, have experienced a few wild miracles, one of which is the reason why I am still able to be here today. I like to consider myself as an open book, one that shares my heart freely and I can feel the hurt of others when they need encouragement or hope. I understand the mind and how for so long, we go through life without knowing that we can have a mind transformation that will completely change our life! My soul latches on to people that can’t see past their current circumstance to move forward and I absolutely love bringing Jesus, who I am, and hope to others.
But that’s the thing. I can do all of this for others so freely and easy, but when it comes to myself, I sometimes can not manage to take my own advice. Many times, I get to a point where I become empty with nothing to give at all. There is no writing, there isn’t much encouragement being dished out, my heart isn’t being filled. And that is mainly when I stray too far away from God. I realized this morning that God is speaking! It started last night, as I was doing some research on a few things. I was led to one of my favorite photographer’s blog and God truly used her to stir in me some change that needs to happen.
I have had this blog for a while, and it has gone through my baking, cake decorating, invitation designs, life and more. I have been holding on to what it was. I have a hard time letting go to clear it up and free old space to focus on what truly matters. To focus on where God is taking me. And no I don’t have to delete things, but building a business takes money and in order to get more space, I have to purchase more. I would rather spend money where absolutely needed right now. I had to call a friend to get some things off my mind as I have had a strong burning sensation that something needs to happen. That God wants me to be open and spread wings more. And there was so much confirmation in that phone call. She lifted me up and gave me some hard truth that I needed to hear. God puts people in our lives for a reason, that’s for sure!
This change maybe really simple for some, but for me, right now, it will be the start of truly taking a leap of faith and step into all that God has created me to be.
There is a name change coming. Crystal Keefer Designs has served it purpose. I am not limited to Crystal Keefer Designs. I am Crystal Keefer – full of hope, inspiration, story telling, speaking, writing, creating, capturing moments, encouragement, running, JESUS and what ever HE decides to lead me to and through – This is me, completely RAW.
Welcome, to Crystal Keefer.