Did you get those holiday cards out like you wanted to this year? Are you doing all those holiday activities that you had planned out? You know…. all those expectations we put on ourselves to measure in our minds if we are good moms, wives, daughters, sisters, etc.

Girlfriend those expectations can get the best of us. They leave us feeling so much less than we were ever supposed to feel. As I am writing this, I am in a place where its hard to get down to the holiday stuff I so loved. To top it off its a hard season filled with a memory that I will never be able to erase.

We are living with the in-laws temporarily until we get my child home renovated enough to move in and make it home not only for us, but to bring people in to serve the way we absolutely love to. And we love doing that by cooking, loving people, and making them feel at home.

So, for me those thoughts have come when I have forgotten the date. When I wanted to do x, y, and z and its just not humanly possible to do it all. Or when it doesn’t feel like the holiday season too much to me. I fight a battle of wanting to do the fun stuff and remembering that we have a renovation to complete.


I didn’t get my holiday cards out this year. They are stuck in storage in an area I can’t get to unless I spend hours trying to get them. I could put my family through misery trying to fill an expectation I put on myself, but I didn’t. I could have gone to buy new ones and put more pressure on myself to make myself feel like I am doing good.

So as hard as it might be to just be okay with not sending any out, I am choosing to be okay with it. I mean come on. I am a writer that loves words and loves handwritten notes and fun cards in the mail. I can choose to send adult valentine’s day cards right?

Many of us have some hard things tied to the very season that is supposed to be filled to the brim with joy, peace and happiness. So what do we do? We try to keep busy to erase the hard things or not even think about them. We tend to fill our lives with crazy expectations that even super girl would have a hard time fulfilling.


My love, give yourself some grace. We were not created to follow anyone or live up to anyone. Let me say that again. What we need to remember is that we have no one to live up to. Our worth does not come from looking good to the world. Our worth comes from a Father in heaven that loves us dearly and sees us as more than enough every waking moment of the day.

We will run ourselves into a hole trying to keep up with the expectations we create in our minds. It is 100% okay if you don’t get a chance to get to everything you want to do. Instead, take time to think about the things that truly matter to you and create small simple memories with the people that matter most to you.

Can you promise me that you will give yourself some grace and focus on doing what you can and don’t let guilt and shame come knocking at the door?

Much Love,
Crystal Keefer

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