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+ encouragement, Real Talk Tuesday

Don’t You Dare Give Up

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Every Tuesday since October, I have been doing Real Talk Tuesday on my Facebook page where I dig into a topic and speak some truth to encourage others. My mission is to bring truth, light and encouragement to as many women as possible, helping them to realize who they are and allow them to tell their story, while leaving them ridiculously hopeful for tomorrow.

This morning as I was getting dressed, I got the itch to write, so here we are.
I am usually given a message to speak on through the simplest things. Sometimes its a photo, sometimes its words someone says, observation from my facebook feed, scripture in the bible, even looking at the trees and clouds.

I was looking through photographs I took at one of the oldest gardens here in Charleston and I got a message about our path in life as I stopped on one photo.

I began to feel the aches and pains of the hearts of those around me. There are many that feel alone. There are many that have been on the journey for some time and it feels so hard. There are many that are just tired. They have been at it, pushing and it feels like they can’t push past this one wall. I was feeling that there are many people that are thinking about giving up.

The path we are on can sometimes feel daunting, lonely, and like you will never get to the other side, but I want to encourage you to keep going, keep pushing through and hold on to hope.

Can you relate to any of those feelings?

Maybe you are on a fitness journey and those around you are just killing it with their health and it feels like you are only dropping 1lb here and there and then gaining it back. I have been there!

Maybe you have this dream or vision in your heart. It seems so real, you can picture it so well, but it seems out of reach. You thought at one point you could work towards it, but then the door closed and the only thing you could think was that its best to just move on to something else because that’s not meant to be.

Maybe its a relationship that you want to change so bad, but it has been causing to much heartache, that you just can’t take anymore. You are tired of putting in the work. It feels lonely and you wonder why can’t your relationship with this person isn’t worthy to be redeemed.

Maybe its with something God put in your heart that has been so big and you have been doing your part and working at it little by little but every time you feel like you are about to break through, something happens making it seem like maybe you heard God wrong and you have begin to doubt everything.

There could be a mixture of things, but my beautiful sister, I need you to take a deep breath and welcome some truth in your life. The path can FEEL all those ways, but the truth is that its just a feeling.

Sure you may be feeling alone, but the truth is God is always with you. (Isaiah 40:31)

You may be feeling like its so hard, but the truth is God empowers those he calls. (Hebrews 13:21)

You may be feeling tired and weary, but the truth is God will give you new strength and renew your power. (Isaiah 41:10)

You may be feeling all the things, but when we align ourselves up with the truth, we find new found hope and strength to keep pushing through in the midst of the struggles, trials and tribulations. But we have to make a decision ahead of time that we will not give up.

You are not weak. You are not double minded. You are not wishy-washy. You are not defeated. You have not been skipped over. You are not going to miss out on your calling.

You are not the lies that come up in your head that leave feeling ashamed and worthless.

You are way more than that.

Fearless. Bold. Empowered. Amazing. Strong. Motivated. Resilient. Tough. Brave. Courageous. Worthy. Capable. Victorious. Confident. Determined.

Just because something seems like its not meant to be, it doesn’t mean that it is never happening. What if it just wasn’t the right season?

What if God wanted to give you a heads up on what’s to come, because He loves you so much, but so many times we dive in believing its NOW season and end up frustrated because we haven’t waited on God. There is nothing wrong with getting started, but if you do get started, promise yourself that you will never give up on that things He places in your heart.

What if God was working on a better way for it to happen?

What if you had a bit more growing to do in order to handle that greatness that was to come?

What if God IS working behind the scenes, orchestrating all the details?

I don’t know about you, but I had some growing to do in this life. Some getting rid of old mindsets in order to walk in truth and rise up to the person I have been created to be. Erasing lies I have believed and getting rid of the ways of the world in me, took time and it was a journey. I don’t ever want to go back to something just to receive it all and not be ready spiritually or emotionally to handle it.

Sister, don’t you dare give up!
Hold on to hope, truth, and stand firm believing that you CAN because He lives in you. Not in your strength, but His.

When we are thinking about giving up, I believe its all part of the enemy’s scheme to get you off your path and leave you feeling defeated.

Yes, I know its not easy.
Yes, I know it may be the hardest thing you have ever done.
Yes, I know that there maybe some people trying to discourage you.
Yes, I know it feels like you may be alone.

But I know that YOU CAN.

I know that you can push through. I know that there is some strength within you waiting to be tapped into.

You gotta start telling yourself the truth. Don’t open your mouth and let words of defeat come out. Allow empowering, strength building words to be released from you tongue.

And imagine me right beside you, looking at you, feeling all you are feeling, sitting in it right with you, loving you enough to look you in the eye and say firmly with all the love in my heart “Don’t you dare give up. I need you to dig deep and push. You’ve got this”

Though we experience every kind of pressure, we are not crushed. At times we don’t know what to do, but quitting is not an option.
2 Corinthians 5:8
So no wonder we don’t give up. For even though our outer person gradually wears out, our inner being in renewed every single day.
2 Corinthians 5:16

Much Love,

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+ From the heart, truth

Freedom From “Religious” Expectations

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I want to help you destroy a lie on this beautiful day. I think someone needs to hear this.

You know as women of God we want to be “good Christians” and read our bibles, attend study groups, go to all the church things, feel like we are doing “our part”, do “Christian things”, but yall the idea of all that above is basically a lie. It’s a religious illusion and kind of a trap. If we are not careful we will end up focusing more on looking good to the world and man, vs getting to know the heart of God and His righteousness.

Sure, we should read our bibles and want to, but doing all those things just to check off a list to feel like we are holy won’t help us get to true the heart of God and fill the void we may be feeling.

Sure, it’s good to attend study groups and be involved at church, but Jesus also said that we are the church. So find some freedom in that truth when it feels like you may be struggling to do any of it. Go out there in life and share your gifts with the world, but do clear some time on your schedule to dig in to community too.

Y’all it is so easy to look at other Christians and women of God, thinking they have it all together, they are walking holy, and you are over here just feeling so less than because you are struggling to even pray!

Release that lie and walk in truth!! No one has it together. What does that foolishness even mean?

The women you see, have struggled. They have rough days. They feel the same way at times. I struggle at times. My walk is not perfect and I don’t want you to sit there with these lies just brewing in your mind, tormenting you, telling you you have to be perfect or else.

This morning was the first time in a while that I have been out on the porch where I love to sit with God. Sometimes my prayer life is one sentence before I fall asleep, sometimes I get distracted during my quiet time and end up on my phone, sometimes I would rather be alone than in community, sometimes I act out in the flesh, (like an absolute butt), sometimes I feel empty and and haven’t picked up my bible in some time, sometimes I miss church…. I did not start reading a bible until 2018, but God still used me and performed miracles in my life.

“Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness..” (Matthew 6:33) notice that doesn’t say anything about seek perfectionism, religious life the way Christians do things.

The truth is, God is always with me. He knows my heart. He is not looking for me to do all the things and check off a list in order for him to love me. He has already made us Holy, so we don’t have to try and act “holy”. He knows that this life can be a challenge and there are things pulling us in different directions. He sees us and really wants to have a relationship with us.

Ladies, as RAW women, we gotta be real with ourselves, true to ourselves and walk in truth. Drop those chains of lies and pick up your freedom, free from pressure to perform.

Even when you can’t form sentences to pray, Holy Spirit is already interceding on our behalf. “.. The Holy Spirit takes hold of us in our human frailty to empower us in our weakness. For example, at times we don’t even know how to pray, or know the best things to ask for. But the Holy Spirit rises up within us to super-intercede on our behalf, pleading to God with emotional sighs too deep for words.
(Romans 8:26 The passion translation)

Just take it day by day and just take time sit with Heavenly Father if anything at all.  He wants you to get to know Him, He wants you and your heart most of all. He want you to learn His voice and to refresh you with His spirit. He wants to speak to you and put things in your heart.

He isn’t interested in religious standards. He is interested in YOU and you walking in your true identity.

So don’t allow that religious spirit to come in and tell you you aren’t any good because you haven’t done x, y, and z. You do you with God.

I’ve gotta tell you, my relationship with him will look different from yours and yours along with other women, will look different from mine. Find freedom in that because God made us all unique, but He knows how to take it from there and He continues to mold us into who He created us to be.

And lastly, when you are wanting to take your walk deeper with Him, it takes time and discipline to dig in. Give yourself some grace. The enemy sees what you want to do or have been doing and starts to tremble because he knows the power of a woman! He will attempt to throw in distraction after distraction, but you just keep at it, keep showing up and let him know who actually runs the show around here!

I hope that encourages you

Much Love,

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+ From the heart, truth

Don’t Throw A Whole Year Out

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I believe so many of us had a rough season or period in 2019 and we automatically kicked the whole darn year out, because it was tough. Each day we get to live, we have choices to make. Did you know we can choose our attitude. It’s so easy to walk through something hard and then forget about all the good days we had in between, and become bitter and sour about the whole year.

I totally get it and I have to agree that bad days truly suck! They make things seem worse than they are, they test you like no other, and many times the hits keep coming one after another. Bad days happen to all of us, no matter how much we try to fight it and no matter how positive we are, some days are just a bit tougher than the rest.

But the reality is it’s a day, sometimes a moment from a particular day. We must be careful because at times we can carry on so much, talk about it so much, focus on it so much that it starts to actually sound like feel as though we have a bad life. We start to say things like “my life sucks”.

Really?! You got two flat tires today and your WHOLE life sucks?? You didn’t have coffee, someone hacked into your bank account, you lost your job and your WHOLE life sucks?!

Did we really go the whole year without laughing, smiling, some sort of adventure even if it was as simple as a visit to the bowling alley or movies?

What happened during that fun vacation you had 2 months ago. What happened when you celebrated your birthday with all your close friends and family? What happened when you had a spa day and had time to yourself? Those were good days. Are you throwing them out and saying that all actually sucked?

Well that’s part of your life too…

Bad days, a crappy week, does not equate a bad life or a bad year. There are 365 days in a year and when we tell ourselves “2019 sucked”, we are saying “nothing went good, I didn’t enjoy that one on one time I took with my kid, I didn’t enjoy that amazing dinner I had at _____, I didnt enjoy the times hanging out with my best friend.” And it goes on and on.

Resorting to saying your life sucks sounds more like a perspective problem. A gratitude problem. Are you thankful for what you do have? Have you thought that you lost that job because God wants you to step out and follow your dreams? Have you thought that those 2 flat tires may have saved you from a horrific accident at the next stop light?

I know about days that aren’t so good. Trust me. I have had my share. I have also had my share of an attitude that got me no where. A small mindset. I have walked through some hard stuff, but we dont have to allow that stuff define who we are or let it take over our whole year.

I guarantee if we really sat to reflect on the year, you will find some goodness and realize that you had quite a few good days

But think about it….

How does a bad day equal a bad life? Weeelll, it doesn’t! A bad day is what it is a bad day. A day where things are just a bit off. Things seem to be going wrong. You thoughts are being attacked. And worst of all, some of those “bad days” involve losing someone extremely close to you and it literally takes your breath away. I truly get it!!

What is our perspective in life. Our stinking thinking can set us up for a life that we never wanted to live, but we end up bringing that into existence by the way we think, the words we say and the way perceive things and situations.

What if you decided to treat each day as a gift?
What if you decided to create boundaries in your life? What if you decided to start saying “No”?
What if you decided to choose joy even through the hard and challenging times?What if your words had the power to create joy around your days?

I do have to tell you something, we will have more hard days because when we start rising up, we get thrown lemons. How will we deal with those lemons? Will we allow them to make us bitter and sour because we drank the juice or will we throw them back?

How will we approach the hard crap? Those hard days produce strength in us. We are not weak people that bow down to opposition and crap thrown our way. We have so much strength inside to keep going and wise enough to call a DAY what it is and we realize that one day or week or month, does not equal a whole year.

My friend that does not mean you have a bad life. You still have a beautiful life to live. Give thanks for the good things and everything that is going right and you will see after all, that perspective is everything.

Much Love,

Crystal Keefer

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+ From the heart, truth

Its The First Day Of A New Decade

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Were you one of those people that tried to get everything in order to start fresh for the new year? Like so much that it became a chore vs something you were able to enjoy?

A few of my friends and I spend quite a few hours at a local coffee shop earlier this week to work on our goals for this year of 2020. We purchased Powersheets (a GOAL planner to help you dig into and cultivate what matters the most) and we all sat at a long table, all spread out just choosing to dig in. Choosing to do the messy work of digging deeper to realize what actually fires us up. There is a whole section of what I call “Soul Work” in the beginning before we even make it to the area to actually write out our goals.

 

That work of digging in stretches us past our comfort. Y’all, its not always fun digging into the dirt! Its not fun digging into the stuff that we may be dragging along with us year in and year out. Its not easy digging into our fears and then choosing to let them go. Its not easy letting some goals that you think you should accomplish go.

Then, in the midst of all that we get hit with trying to make it perfect. Trying not to mess up. Wanting to have it all done RIGHT NOW because if we don’t get it done now, some invisible goal genie is going to come down and chastise us. We will look like a failure and a fraud. We will not be enough.

“Well everyone else has their crap together and I am over here struggling. I will be so behind and will never be able to catch up”, we think to ourselves.

Okay, let me ask you something. How do you know if everyone else has their crap together? You know good and well if you sat to think about it, you could name a few people in your life that couldn’t care less about even thinking about setting a goal. Did you go to their house to watch them set goals? Did you see their process? Do you know if those goals that look so perfect are even from this year? What if they have been posting the same photo over and over each year because they feel like a fraud if they don’t set goals, so they are just putting something out there to fool us?

You know kind of like those people that shove stuff in closest for that perfect Instagram photo.

You see, its so easy to see one or two people that jotted down some goals and automatically call it “everybody”. Its easy to believe a highlight reel thinking it’s all rainbows and sunshine for others. We don’t get to see all the dirt that was plowed through. The reality is, we need to focus on the truth.

What is the truth here?

I can tell you a few truths.

Girlfriend, you gotta be you! The way you do things and how YOU get to your goals and intentions is just as good as someone else that seems to have theirs ready to go.

Life happens and we must give ourselves grace. Heavenly Father extends grace out to us over and over, but why is it so hard for us to give ourselves grace. We are not chasing perfection here. We are chasing little by little progress, but I need you to look at your progress and call it good. Comparison will rob you. You were not meant to be her. You were meant to be YOU. Accept YOU for all that you are. She is good enough.

Let’s let go of the idea that you will miss out if it is not done right now. Anything great that was ever accomplished took time. It took planning. It took cultivating. It took one goal that probably got scratched out and revised. Maybe it took not even realizing the goal until 6 months into the year.

There has been new goals and ideas that have come to my mind later on in the year. Things will change and it makes life better when we learn to embrace that change, instead of thinking everything will crash if we go off course for a little bit.

I want all of us to dream big, but just because we dream big does not mean it all has to be worked on RIGHT NOW. What if I told you that it could even be worked on next year. Getting the ideas down on paper and out of your head is still a way of honoring those things that are in your heart.

So even when you are not working on them right away, you are still able to just guard them with your heart until the time comes.

My sweet sister, release yourself from the worldly way of thinking it all has to be together or you will have to wait for another fresh start or you have to hustle and do it all. Each day we have been given is a fresh start. And the truth is we can’t do all the things and do them all well.

Good things grow where its messy. Just as God doesn’t look for perfect people to do his will. He comes after us just as we are, right where we are in the mess, in the brokenness, in the healing, because he knows that just as seeds are watered little by little, in order to bloom and grow, we are the same. Seeds waiting to sprout.

Our goals are waiting to sprout as well, but we must be gentle and nurturing, tending to them little by little, taking time to meditate on them, sit with them, and focus on a little at a time. Too many at one time will overwhelm you and take your joy away just as too many seeds in one spot will choke the roots of the other plants and never grow.

You can set goals and give yourself grace at the same time. So my love, the way you do you is amazing and more than enough! I am super proud of you for diving in.

If you are reading this and you have not set any goals, I’m going to love you enough and tell you to go after the things in your heart.

You have been created for more than just existing in this world.
You have been created for more than just going to work and going home each day with no fun in between.
You have been created for a divine purpose and it’s time that you discover the true you!

Start writing something down. It’s okay to dream crazy seemingly impossible dreams because with God all things are possible. Take those baby steps to get there. Then, if it starts to become crazy and overwhelming, go back and read this whole post for yourself, message me, email me, whatever it is so I can speak some truth over you!

Much love,


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+ From the heart, photography, Real Talk Tuesday

Real Talk: You Know “Those Days”, I Have Them Too.

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I had every intention of doing Real Talk Tuesday LIVE on Facebook yesterday. Like, seriously. I woke up energetic. I had my coffee. I talked my husbands ears off during the ride out to the country. Taking a new window out to the house to replace this week (or next) was one thing on our agenda for the day. If you are new around here, we are in the middle of a FULL house renovation. (Read that story here) We are redoing the whole thing with the exception of the exterior brick that encases the home.

The plumbing, the electric, the septic system, interior walls, splitting a room into two, opening up walls for bigger space, new roof, new windows, new doors, new lighting, gutted the kitchen and the bathroom and we are doing 95% of the work ourselves with the help of very few good friends. We did take a break this summer because it was so darn hot and I dug more into creating a new collection and started a part time job at an upscale dessert shop. I have to say its been a little challenging to step away to find the momentum to dig back in.

We did a few measurements so we could come back to the city to price roofing shingles, so we can hopefully start that project at the beginning of the new year. As I was in the yard, I was looking around and it was so dreary. A bit cloudy, lots of leaves covering the ground, and bare looking trees. To be honest, it felt a bit dead out there. We don’t have any close neighbors, so you can imagine what the lifelessness does to an empath. I start to feel it. Something came over me on the ride back to town and I couldn’t put my finger on it. I actually started to get a bit annoyed and frustrated.

Yes, the girl that is full of hope, light, truth, and love, gets attacked with negative energy and begins to feel down from time to time. One thing I don’t want to paint for you is this picture that my life is perfect.

Y’all I am usually filled with joy, but it is not the funnest thing to be 35 years old, very independent and living with my in-laws. Its been a year. I want to run to the bank so fast to get a loan and hire all the contractors to get this done and over FAST because I have been over it myself. We are on this journey to become debt free and have it in our spirit (well more so the hubs than me) to pay for it without a loan. And at this point and time, it was driving me a bit bonkers yesterday, because it will just take a bit longer, requiring more patience.

This month is already hard for me because it is the month my mom passed away. Christmas Eve to be exact. This is the second Christmas season that I have not been in my own home, putting up my own decorations, making a mess in my own kitchen, etc.

To put it lightly, I am beyond ready for my own place again. This has been a huge sacrifice. I fear I can’t go into details, but I hope you get an idea.

So there are those days we have sometimes, right? Days when we can’t quite put our finger on the real problem and why “today” seems to be the day it bothers you the most.

Those days when we shed some tears. Where we may do a bit more than just shed tears.

I cried today and it wasn’t one of my usual empathetic cries. It was a hefty soul cry. I was frustrated. I can’t workout much right now and I can’t run due to healing from an accident that happened early last month. So its been hard to release those endorphins that help us relieve stress and get over frustrations.

What is one to do?

You do what you can. You have your moment. Don’t deny yourself that moment to cry it out, pound it out on the pavement, plug your ears with music or do whatever you need to get through for that moment or day.

I had to cry it out. I listened to worship music. I yelled a bit. I was even a bit short in responses a few times towards my husband. I wanted to be left alone, completely unbothered.

In the midst of all that, I knew that I couldn’t stay there. If I did, I would become bitter and negative energy would begin to settle in and would follow me into another day.

A little bit into the afternoon, I felt the sun wash away some of the nonsense and fill me with its beautiful energy. And my beautiful sister decided to give me a call at the right time. I cheered up and all that was bothering the crud out of me, seemed to be lifted.

One thing we probably could do more of when we are feeling down and having one of those days, is call up a friend or a sister and talk. It doesn’t even have to be about the issue, but just a conversation to take your mind off of what you may have been dwelling on a bit too much. Its kind of good for the soul!

I know this isn’t one of my most encouraging posts as usual, but I just have to be real with you. Some days I just don’t have it in me. Some days I don’t want to participate. Some days I want to isolate myself. Some days I say too much. Some days I don’t show my family the love that Jesus displayed so well.

Some days are just hard. Even “the encourager” has hard days where the words that slip off my tongue don’t encourage at all. But we are all human. Be willing to give yourself some grace instead of beating yourself up and knocking yourself further down, making it even harder to get up again.

Much Love,
Crystal Keefer

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